When Diet Culture Broke Our Relationship with Food (and How to Fix It)

When I was growing up, I was called “chubby,” which was apparently a perfectly acceptable word to use in the 80s. I was embarrassed that my jeans were “Pretty Plus” sizes.

My mom was always going on a diet, and most of the time, my sister and I went on the diet with her. When I was in middle school, my mom and I went on a road trip with my aunt. My mom forgot to tell her that we were both “on a diet,” so she brought a grocery bag full of junk food for the road. My aunt was so frustrated that she started lining up mini Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups along the dashboard so we could watch her eat them one by one.

That moment stuck with me—not because of the candy, but because it was the first time I realized how much guilt women carried around food. I didn't realize at the time, however, exactly how much diet culture had broken our relationship with food.

Like most women in her generation, my mom fell into the diet-culture trap. And like many in mine, I followed suit. We did SlimFast, grapefruit diets, low-fat everything (my hair still hasn’t forgiven me), Weight Watchers, sugar-free, low-carb—you name it. The list is longer than the ingredient label on a box of “fat-free” cookies.

These diets got into our heads. They taught us to question what we ate, when we ate, and whether our worth depended on the size of our jeans.

Diet Culture Broke Our Relationship with Food: We’ve Been Taught to Eat Less and Do More

Women are now conditioned to eat as little as possible. Yet we’re expected to raise kids, keep full-time jobs, clean the house, grocery shop, work out five times a week, strength train, take care of aging parents, pay bills, and walk the dog.

When you under-fuel but keep pushing, you live in a constant state of exhaustion and mental fatigue. It’s not a lack of willpower—it’s biology. Years of under-eating can disrupt hormones, slow metabolism, and make recovery harder. It’s time to end this cycle.

The Shift: From Less to More

Have you ever noticed that when you constantly think about what you can’t have, suddenly that’s all you want? "I shouldn’t eat ice cream today” quickly becomes “all I can think about is ice cream.”

So instead of eating less, let’s learn to fuel more.

With my clients, I’ve noticed that when they start adding foods that nourish and sustain them, the foods that don’t help them naturally fade into the background. One of my first nutrition clients told me in our first session that she loved ice cream and absolutely would not stop eating it. I told her she didn’t have to. We’d work with it.

After several months of focusing on lean proteins, more veggies, healthy carbs, healthy fats, and hydration, I noticed something: she hadn’t been to her favorite ice cream shop in weeks. Not because she was avoiding it—she simply didn’t crave it the same way anymore.

Of course, when she realized that, she laughed and said she was getting ice cream that night—which I fully supported. She wasn’t restricting anymore. She was choosing.

Diet Rules and the Damage They Left Behind

For decades, diet culture has told us what not to eat: Fat, sugar, carbs, meat, fruit, even vegetables (depending on the decade).

It’s also told us when to eat: Only breakfast. Never breakfast. Nothing after 7 p.m. Only between 3 and 4 p.m. every other Wednesday.

And with all those rules, what have we gained? Not a slim figure and eternal happiness, that’s for sure. We’ve gained a broken relationship with food—and a belief that eating as little as possible is the answer.

The Fix: Nourish, Don’t Punish

All is not lost. When we focus on adding more of what fuels us, we begin to repair our relationship with food and with our bodies.

Sheet Pan Chicken Fajita Bowl (comment below for the recipe. It's delicious!)

Start small and work your way up from there:

• Add one more lean protein.

• Add one more veggie.

• Add one more complex carb and healthy fat.

• Expand your spice cabinet—season your food and make it enjoyable again.

Eating enough to support your life feels so much better—whether you’re a new mom, a runner chasing a PR, or a woman navigating menopause and all the changes that come with it. Our bodies deserve the best of what we can give them.

Beyond Food: Focus on More in Every Area

The concept of more doesn’t stop at nutrition.

Instead of looking at our bodies and seeing everything “wrong,” let’s show them more love. Let’s partner with them to be strong enough to do all the things we want and need to do in this life.

Add more purposeful movement that you enjoy, not things you dread. Run. Play pickleball. Dance in your living room. Hike. Lift weights. Move in ways that bring you joy. Add more movement—and watch your relationship with it heal over time.

When we stop starving ourselves and start nourishing our bodies with good food, we stop surviving and start thriving.

More nourishment. More strength. More compassion. More energy to live the life you actually want.