Let’s get one thing straight: if your waistline has been expanding faster than your patience since hitting your 40s or 50s, it’s not because you’ve suddenly forgotten how to eat a salad. This isn’t about willpower—it’s about hormones.

If you’re in perimenopause or menopause and finding your brain feels like a browser with 42 tabs open—five of which are frozen and one is playing music somewhere—welcome to the fog. You're not going mad. You're just hormonal.

Let’s set the scene: once upon a time, you were the queen of emotional labor. You remembered birthdays. You sent thank-you notes. You...